It is no gainsaying that most women prefer dating men who
appear confident and outspoken, not necessarily because such
men are better lovers, but partly because they exhibit an aura
of protection, safety and reliability for their spouses.
Notably, shy men may not be every woman’s preference
maybe because they appear calm and non-aggressive in
situations that demand absolute exhibition of their manliness,
but it now appears that women who prefer dating the macho
men to shy men may be missing out on the best possible
mate or the company of a better lover. This is because studies
have shown that men who are shy are better lovers.
No doubt, the natural attraction of females to ‘confident’ men
has compelled some men to ‘come out of their shell’ in order
to impress women, more so because they sometimes have to
prove their masculinity with some bold and dramatic displays.
However, if the findings of these studies are anything to go by,
women who are in relationships with shy men should count
themselves lucky for being in the company of better mates.
Some biologists at the Plymouth University, United Kingdom,
found that men who shy the most do have the most to offer
their potential lover.
One of the researchers, Prof. Mark Briffa, who is a marine
animal behaviour scientist in the university, likened men to
hermit crabs, pointing out that the most timid or shy crabs
tend to have more high quality sperm, making them a better
option for females.
The findings of the study, published in Daily Mail, revealed
that crabs that spend more time in their shells have invariably
invested more time and resources in becoming reproductively
fit, saying their finding was in contrast with the idea that the
most productive individuals should be the boldest. Thus,
according to the study, shy men who may not readily talk
spend more time on things that could make them better,
which invariably would make them better lovers.
In some other reports to buttress the point that there are
several benefits in dating a shy guy, a post on
allwomenstalk.com showed that the main challenge shy men
have is that their spouses may need to work harder to get
some information out of them because they usually do not
readily share information about themselves. Also people tend
to have a wrong perception of who they really are. This is
unlike the ‘confident’ guy who would want to talk about his
past, present and future. The report added that the men who
are ‘confident’ tend to be more possessive and talk a lot
about themselves. It added that such men could put off some
possible lovers with their actions for being too forward and
dominating conversations.
According to the post, shy guys are also more sincere than
the outspoken guys because they think deeply about their
words beforehand and are more careful in their expression
than those who are not and are usually ready to talk as soon
as situations present themselves. Also, shy men were found to
be less intimidating than their ‘confident partners’, who would
want everyone around to feel that they are more than they
truly are. It added that shy guys who may rarely talk would
only talk when convinced and definite about what to say and
not to impress, noting that the ‘confident’ men would want to
introduce or advertise themselves at all times, which may not
be the true picture of who they truly are.
“They are considerate and are more likely to consider the
impact of their words and actions on their partner, hence,
making them a preferred spouse. Also, they are less likely to
cheat, not only because women tend not to consider them for
relationship but also because they focus their attention on
more productive things rather than chasing women,” it added.
For women who love rapt attention and a listening man to talk
to, no one does it better than shy men because they usually
don’t and are not always eager to dominate conversations.
Rather, they listen well and only talk when they feel like or
when they have something better or interesting to say. This,
accordingly, implies that shy men respect the feelings and
opinions of others. According to the post, shy men have been
found to make valuable contributions in a group discussion
because they spend more time meditating, and are not in a
hurry to speak. Beyond these, it was also revealed that shy
guys are more receptive, all making them a better lover.
In summarising the benefits of dating a shy man, another
report on amerikanki.com, said, “It’s believed that girls tend
to talk much more than guys, but every now and then, even
women need a person that can just keep silent and listen to
them. They want to talk more and be listened to and any man
who can afford them such would readily score some point.
“A shy man will never act artificially and his words always
correspond to his thoughts and women can be sure that the
shy guy means exactly what he says. Indeed, it’s a good
reason to date a shy guy.
“Shy guys aren’t so talkative and probably most ladies will
have to make great efforts to get along with them, just that if
such men choose to talk, they are sincere and their words are
meaningful and they don’t bother their partner with annoying
questions. Even if they have to reject people or their opinion,
they do it in a polite manner.
“These imply that shy guys shouldn’t be ignored at all
because dating a shy guy is all about advantages and these
are only a few of them. If you want an attentive, careful
person, dating a shy guy is definitely a right idea, even if they
are not the readily combat-ready men.”
Thus, the studies and posts pointed out that a man with such
traits as highlighted and discussed above tends to be a better
lover.
Commenting on the study, a professor of psychology, Toba
Elegbeleye, said shy guys could be categorised as introverts,
and that they are people who like to be quiet, studious and
alone, not for the fear of publicity but for them to exhibit their
internal qualities.
He pointed out that such people have fantastic inner qualities
and they usually believe that they are the only ones that
understand their personality better.
He said, “They are very hardworking and intelligent people
because they are able to explore all their internal qualities. So,
it may not be wrong if somebody concludes that they are
better lovers because they have the patience to live with and
correct their partners in love if there is need.
“Also, they can see what an ordinary extroverted person won’t
see because they pay attention to details, they know more
than they speak out, so, these may make them a good lover.
They may be able to accommodate all the inconsistencies that
come from their partner.
“They usually have internal resilience that makes them
consider issues several times before they take action, and
most of such actions cannot be faulted. These qualities may
make them better lovers.”
